Friday, July 31, 2009

Vampire poem by me?

Stay in the shade.


where the devil has layed.


where Hell was made.


where good memories fade.


The teeth of the vampire sharp as a blade.


The light where the vampire could be slayed.


stay in the shade.

Vampire poem by me?
dark, and it rhymes, i like it
Reply:to be honest, it's simplistic, and focuses only on the rhyme. try again, adn maybe concentrate on *showing* us some vivid images...don't get hung up on the rhyme, though i know it helps sometimes.
Reply:Don't worry about the rhyming so much, poetry is more about feeling. Think of how the vampire would feel. Angst? Depression? Fear? Wistfulness? Make the emotions your own and mix them all together, Wham you have a poem :) Be sure to use description. Good luck! :)



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1 comment:

  1. I'm someone who has lived a life seemingly in the background, I must say this final indignity I have suffered almost too much to endure. You see, I have been sickly and weak since the day I was born and doomed to go through my life weakling. I seemed to have always suffered from one illness or another and could never play with the other children as I so desperately wanted to. Mother always made such a big fuss over me, also, making the situation worse as the other boys teased me mercilessly after they saw it. I was browsing  the internet searching on how I could be transformed into a powerful person when I came across the email of a man named Lord Mark. who was a VAMPIRE so I told him that I has always dreamed of becoming a  VAMPIRES, All i did was just to follow the procedure that i was been told, and i bet you that procedure I took change my entire life to something i ever desire, freedom, sickness free, pains free, fame, influence, connections and even more that i can. Thanks to Lord Mark. Do you want a life full of interesting things? Do you want to have power and influence over others? To be charming and desirable? To have wealth, health, and longevity? contact the vampires creed today via email: Vampirelord7878@gmail.com

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